tHE yEAR OF fORGIVING THE uNFORGIVABLE

I was looking through the archives of my website and exclaimed, "Where'd 2024 go?!" That's when it hit me.  Our family endured a lot of hardships and trauma.  It was the year of forgiving the unforgivable.  It was the year that we had to look at justice in new ways.

My daughter had an assignment for her 6th grade Language Arts class.  The essay assignment was to write an essay about how it feels to forgive.  It was an apt moment to reflect back at 2024 and discover how we had to choose love and forgiveness over pain and anger. 
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Here is her essay:

"How do I feel when I forgive? I never really thought about it until now. I know a
lot of people will probably say that a heavy weight is lifted off their chest; but I don’t feel
that way. I haven’t focused a lot on forgiving, but instead, seeking to love others. So, I
thought a lot about forgiveness and then I remembered all that happened in 2024.

Looking back at 2024, I realized that it was the year of forgiveness.
Forgiveness doesn’t always feel great, but loving others does. In 2024, I had to
forgive a lot of others and try to love them no matter how much they hurt my little
brother or my great uncle. My mom says that my older brother and I “had to learn to
forgive the unforgivable at a young age and seek love and justice in the face of the
despair.”

It was the beginning of May 2024 and late at night when we received a phone
call from my grandparents saying that my great-uncle had just come out of brain surgery
and that he was dropped on his head during transport. A few weeks later, he died from
this injury. I am very lucky I got to see him before he passed. Even though he could not
speak his eyes said it all. When he was in his room and the adults were in a separate
room, I snuck away to say goodbye before my mom, and I left. I will never forget the
smile he gave me. Right then I knew he was saying goodbye forever.

A few weeks later, my little brother, Andrew, who is nonverbal and has Down
syndrome got diagnosed with e. Coli. I remember driving to the far away hospital
multiple times a day and then wanting to stay home because I couldn’t bear seeing him
in so much dismay. He was in the hospital for two weeks and underwent TWO blood
transfusions. Praying, sobbing and begging that it would work and that my little brother
could just come home.

When the school year started Andrew came home from his public school with over 30 cuts
all over his back. I still remember the police arriving at the house late at night. Their
investigation showed that Andrew was a victim of child abuse at his school from his
teacher.

These three horrific incidents were unforgivable. But Jesus tells us to forgive
the unforgiveable. Jesus had to do the same with the men who nailed him to the Cross.
I guess this is what forgiving the unforgivable and choosing love over pain feels like. For
me, forgiveness feels like following Jesus’ footsteps along the way."

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As I said, my family had to endure a lot.  We had many blessings in 2024, but we also had so much heartbreak.  From the medical staff dropping my uncle on his head during transport after brain surgery to my sweet Andrew contracting e. Coli due to tainted meat to Andrew being a victim of child abuse while in the care of his public school system. 2024 was a tough year, but the blessings outweighed the trauma because God is good - always has been and always will be.  Through each hardship, my family is stronger.

As for the aggrievances against Andrew, we have retained a nationwide rockstar attorney that represents foodborne illness cases.  He is working hard for us and representing Andrew to the best of his ability.  Though the date of incident was July 3, 2024, the case is still in progress. As for the horrible person that abused my nonverbal child.... the Fairfax County Police Major Crimes Bureau detective, Child Protective Services and Medical Examiner all determined that the injuries to Andrew (over 30 lacerations all over his back) were "founded by an unknown aggressor." This means that they recognize Andrew as a victim of child abuse, but the evidence is circumstantial as to who did it.  There were no video cameras in the hallways of the school, the video cameras outside the school weren't working, there weren't any witnesses to speak up for my child, and my child is nonverbal. In fact, both his General Education teacher and his Special Education teacher told the investigator that neither of them had contact with Andrew.  To which I said, "Excuse me?!? That's insane! Who is caring for my child?!"

Yes, there is definitely a lack of justice for nonverbal children who are abused in a public school setting and it's a systemic problem.  Unfortunately, Andrew wasn't the only one hurt in such a way at his public school. Schools need to be held accountable to the safety and wellbeing of each child, no matter the abilities or disabilities. It's insane to think that our tax dollars go to pay for the nonsense of the public school disasters.

From the moment Andrew came home from school with his back looking like he had been whipped at the pillar just like Christ, we never let him back into school.  Two weeks later, he was emergency transitioned to a new school with amazing teachers and support staff.  He's saying more words and is always happy to go to school- a stark contrast to the beginning of the year. 

As one of my friends said about my family's 2024 year, "you can't fall out of a basement."  Already, 2025 is looking better and we are off and running.  Christ has always been, and will always be, the Master at the helm of our ship. 

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